Lunch Lunch, Sleep Sleep

So, I will not attempt some weird poem to explain what I am feeling this time because obviously that didn't work so well. My brain is fried! :P I'm so tired! I fell asleep on a chair fo 2 1/2 hours and I didn't even know it. I thought it was just a few minutes, then, last night, I couldn't sleep! I was soooo hungry and I was hot and cold, and it was waaaay too quiet in my room. So I turned on my heater and my 3 Doors Down CD and finally fell alseep to "Here Without You" around 1AM. :P Now I'm tired and still way hungry but luckily my chemistry teacher, Mr. Hanson, gave me a huge bag of m&m's because I was working hard in his class :D yay!! And now I can't wait till lunch, just 20 more minutes! I've been so bored cause I only have to fix a couple of things in my article then I've had the whole class period to just do w/e. Oh well, I'll go now...

snow snow, oh why snow?

In case you didn't know
I really don't like snow
It's wet, it's cold
It's getting old
And I'm about to blow!

It's makes my room a fridge
It makes a giant ridge
We shovel, blow
but it won't go
we need to build a brigde!

Now this poem really stinks
We need some warms drinks
I'll end it now
Cause I'm a cow
And I really cannot thinks :D

Pondering Ponderous Things...

haha, I'm not really pondering that much really, I'm just thinking of interesting things that have happened to me lately. It's kind of weird to think about and I can't even remember that many things! The other day I took a picture of a drinking fountain on accident. Then I mad donuts and watched part of "The Sound of Music" for the first time. I also went to the DI and I stacked a bunch of movies up in my arms :D I love to look at movies and buy a ton :D Lol, then I realized, when we got home, that I had bought Spiderman when we already owned it...ooopsy! And yesterday it was kinda rainy and cloudy and it was a monday and yet I was having such a wonderful day! And I also ran 5 laps in Aerobics (among other things) and then I was still excited to go to Soccer!! i was only freezing for the first couple minutes of soccer, I got over that quickly! Then we just scrimaged the whole time!! It was so much fun :D I almost stepped on Jacob once, then Todd stepped on my foot, and I guess someone else did as well because I have two bruises! And then I've also got 4 mosquito bites!! All in a line, one next to the other, on my thigh. Lovely. For some reason the mosquioes who bite me enjoy being uniform so I've always got lines. Never random spots, it's just a line. So odd...

Confusion

So, the administration people must enjoy confusing us becuase they keep changing the schedule!! It started out that we had Advisory on Mondays, Late Start on Tuesdays, and SIR at the end of Fridays. but then they had to rethink that becuase everyone would ditch SIR and just go home! So the Friday before school started they changes SIR to Wednesdays. So we had weird schedules on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and only normals ones on Thursday and Friday! And now they don't like it again so they changed it so that we've got normal days everyday of the week except on Tuesday, where they chucked everything else. So on Tuesday, today, we have Late Start, Advisory, and SIR all in one day so all the classes are only an hour long!! Yay!! But I wish we could have Long lunch, I loved long lunch :( so sad :'( so that's our lovely, confusing schedule changes that we've been having. Happy Day right??

Car Crash

Tears across teh windsheild
locks are on the doors
driving on the freeway
staring at the shores
A second unexpected
A moment not forseen
Crashing into metal
Hearing all the screams

Well, hello again

So, yes. It's the 3rd week of school!! I didn't write alll summer long! Well, I kind of couldn't anyhow because I can't get on my blog at my house for some reason :\ Wow, I'm a Junior!! Wohoo!!! I just can't really think of all the stuff that has happened to me this summer and in the first few weeks. We just had makeup picture day today and I've been taking Aerobics so I'm aaaalllwwaaayyss sore!! :P meh, I don't like it!! But it's alright... I'm in English right now and we had to type our poems but I had already written it at my house so I just had to type it and I'm done!! Yay! hmm...For not being on here for so long I sure don't have a lot to write!!! Ok, I'll just post this then put on a random poem :)

Wow

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I've been on here!! I've just been so busy with the end of school coming up and everything has been soooo nuts!!! Jeez!! Well, I just finished doing my book card for english. She's making us do stuff until the very end! We have a Test on the very last day of school! Year book signing day! I'm sooo super excited but i'm also sad. I don't really get to see people over the summer because I'm always gone or I'm busy. Because on June 16th I go on Trek and then a few days after I get back I go to my Dad's for six weeks. He lives in CA so I can't really hang out with anyone. Then, when we get back, it's just about a month (or a little more) till school starts so we go on vacation with my mom then we go shopping and it's all crazy because we gotta go do this and go buy that and JEEZ!! then we start school again and it's like 'Hi friends, haven't seen you in while' literally. I'm so super tired right now. I haven't got any sleep for the last two weeks and I would be getting some this weekend but I'm going to my Dad's and I never get any sleep there! Lol. And we have a swing party after school today!! YAY!! It's going to be exciting but it's really sad because it's the last day of swing :( Enough of me talking, i should visit my blog more... ok, bye!!

You get the drift

You know, I keep finding all these scratches on me and I can't figure out where they came from!! I have one on the top of my left hand, on my pointer finger, and on my right arm!! Then there's on on my right hand but that came from a trashcan. I know, it's pretty sad. But I was just walking along the halls and I hit one with my hand because I wasn't paying attention. At least I know where it came from!! I'm kinda tired of writing for creative writing. I've written lots of poems and started some stories that aren't really flashes and are probably never going to be finished (I'm good at that :) So, I was just typing my story. It's called "Were" or "Weres". You'd have to be in my mind to understand :D ha ha. But you know that Prologue I posted? That was the prologue to the story I'm typing right now. I've written 1,313 words so far! Woohoo, now I'm just hungry and we still have almost 20 minutes of class left! Boohoo :( But I can make it. then I'll eat and be happy jolly :) Especially since it stopped raining!

Hi

Ok, I'm really mad now! I just wrote a lovely little journal thing about how tired I was and hungry and stuff and it got erased! x( Stupid blog! I seriously think it hates me, it's not very nice, even though I gave it life! Jeez :P Well, stories from Spring Break, I was supposed to write something everyday but you can guess how that went :) yeah, only twice :D ha ha. But I got to go to CA and visit my dad, little brother ans sister, my step-mom and all my cousin's aunts and uncles, since we had a big Easter party at our house. They hide a bunch of eggs and they let the big kids go out too (woohoo, never too old to hunt!) And Frankie (My cousin who is 14 or 15) (<-- pretty sad I don't know, right?) and I decided we wanted to get as many confetti eggs as possible. I got 5 or 6 and he got 2 or 3, ha ha. If you don't know, let me explain what confetti eggs are. You have a normal egg. You make a hole in the top and drain it. Then you fill it with confetti and cover it with paper and tape. My uncle made a bunch of those and they hide them along with the other eggs. Then, once everything has been found, you can go around and smash them on peoples heads and they will get confetti and egg shell all stuck in their hair :D It's pretty fun! Then we get out the silly string and everyone is spraying it all over. This year I got ambushed and was so covered!! Then our yard is a complete mess!! Haha. We eat and are all merry and jolly and we hang out with our cousin's and watch movies until they have to leave :) Great fun.

The next day was all rainy. I was kind of sad because while I was there I wanted to soak up as much sun as possible. But it was a nice day. We hung out with out dad and watched TONS of movies :D Then, the next day (Tuesday) we finally set up the trampoline we had gotten for Christmas. It was the sunniest day yet!! WooHoo!! So we were all outside and helped set it up. Then I sat on the swings with my 7 year old sister, Natalie, and we talked while Dad and Heather (my step-mom) tried to put together the net. That is precisely when I got my sunburn :) ha ha, usually people aren't so happy when they get a sunburn but I was extatic :D

Then, on Wednesday we went back home. We went shopping! Then, the next day we got haricuts then went to see "How to Train Your Dragon". If you haven't seen it, you really need to. It's AMAZING. Oh yes, and in the blog thing that I got erased, I also complained that I haven't got enough sleep the last two weeks. I've stayed up until 11, 12, or 1 every night and three times now I've woken up at 5! and I am NOT a morning person!

Ok, wow, that was really long....Hope you didn't get bored. Ok, bye!! ^-^

A Mother's Love

Peaceful music plays so soft
On the couch, I’m in the loft
Peace and quiet, it’s so nice
Just a nap will not suffice
A dinner just for me alone
On second thought, I’ll have a scone
With lots of sugar, syrup too
No worries tonight, just me not you
I make my scone, I eat a lot
I fall asleep still in the loft
The morning comes, I’m still asleep
I hear a cry, so soft and sweet
My baby girl, she’s home at last
All that wasted time has past
For myself? What was I thinking?
She’s my love, my joy, my weakening
My heart explodes as I see her face
I grab her; squeeze her, just in case
She missed me just as I missed her
And from this I can concur
I love her so, there is no doubt
She the only thing I can’t live without

Winter

Chilly days and freezing nights
Sledding hills and snowball fights
Lots of jackets, stay inside
Nice hot chocolate, frozen slide
Soups and slippers, mittens and socks
Winters long but it sure rocks
Blankets warm and fires hot
A season we all like a lot

Summer

Sunny days and misty nights
Baseball games and water fights
Tiny pools and smiling kids
Food left out without their lids
Stay up late and sleeping in
No cold snow or stormy wind
Lots of friends and family 'round
Vacation, we're not homeward bound
Summer's free! It's warms, it's hot
A season we all like a lot

notice :)

The next two poems are about summer and winter and they're kind of the same. You'll see when you read them but I was just warning you :) ha ha, enjoy

Leaving

Musty sky and drunken moon
She's hoping that he'll get back soon
Every night he goes away
He says it's nothing, just to play
He drinks with friends and comes back home
She imagines him out on the road
Swerving in his drunken state
Barely missing the neighbors gate
Headlights on the window now
His truck pulls up, he shuts it down
He walks inside and almost falls
He stops himself, hands on the walls
she runs to him and lifts him up
Into the kitchen, she fills a cup
He gulps it down, it clears his head
He walks away towards the bed
She follows him and she lays down
He's asleep already, not a sound
She turns to face the other way
She so confused, she wants to stay
A tear escapes, so silent, though
To her it means she's letting go
She's still dressed, she's packed her stuff
She puts it all into his truck
She kisses him and shuts the door
He won't come home late anymore

Confusion Inside

A spike of cold, a nest of pain
A million thought run through my brain
The feelings that I have feel wrong
But when I look they're still not gone
I try and try but nothing works
They stay, they grow! That's even worse
I need to let them go right now
My heart still clings to him somehow
He's broken it, and not just once
And yet my heart is such a dunce
It loves him more and swells with joy
And when he smiles it sees no ploy
It thumps and stutters, how can I
Deny it, it's my soul! It cries
I need him with me, night and day
And maybe just along the way
I'll be with him and can't deny
There is none happier than I

A stick, a car, a ball, a string

A stick, a car, a ball, a string
I sit and look at all these things
I have no dog, I own no keys
The ball is flat and who needs string?
What can I do? I can not find
A single clue in my whole mind
Oh wait, Oh wait! I've got one here
An idea's now quite clear
The stick, I'll tape it to the wall
I'll find that thing to fill the ball
I'll make a rim and use the string
To make own basketball thing!
The car? I'll use that when I'm older
As a kid not even my shoulder
Will reach up to the steering wheel
So please stop with all the spiel
I want to play with my new toy
Goodbye to boredom, hello to joy

Final Breath

Without a touch, without a sound
she slipped so quickly to the ground
I had her tightly, yes I swear
I kept her close, I held her near
Safe from harm and free of worry
Why was she in such a hurry
Was I bad, too down to earth
Did I sit too long by the hearth
Was I not well, did I complain
Was I mistaken, was I too plain
I thought of her just like a Queen
One with money; I her King
So rich and witty, but certainly loved
Did I not show her it enough?
My love so dear, has gone away
and it's because I've gone astray
I tried my best but my poor dear
Is gone forever, so I fear
that I must suffer all alone
In this baren, empty home
I'll wait here for her till my death
And give to her my final breath

Paperbag Puppets

A simple bus stop. A sign; a bench. People waiting.
A man in a tie, his hands in his lap, staring straight ahead trying not to show his annoyance at the girl rocking the bench as she listens to her music to loud. With a bright pink streak in her hair and an electric blue shirt she's eager to show her uniqueness. Then, on the end, a quiet girl sat reading her book. Her mind locked in the fantasies of a faraway world. With a simple, white bow in her hair and a gentle smile she shows her kindness discretely.
The picture zooms out and you see it as if it's in a bubble. An enchantress stares greedily at the everyday picture of life on the side of the road. Her fingers twitch as she swirls them around the globe and silver wisps of destruction make their way around the picture, about the intertwine their fates into a desperate battle with death.

Prologue

Blood.
Everywhere there's blood.
Crimson red, liquid pain. The cuts on my body sting, glass is still stuck in my arm. My eyes dart around until I spot another body. It looks like a corpse.
I crawl over, through the pools of blood, and put my hand on his face. Is he alive? I feel his breath on my skin. He is. Blood is trickling from a gash in his head and a cut in his arm, a wound on his leg. He's never going to make it. Tears blur my vision, he's going to die.
"No..." I whisper in denial. He can't, he can't leave me. "No." I said again. "No. I won't let you die!" I grabbed under his arms and lifted him up then a memory flashed in my head. Something he had said to me...
"The only way you can become a Were is if their blood gets into your system"
I had cuts all over and Were blood was covering the ground. I had Were blood in me. I could do this. A smile spread across my face. I gripped him tighter in my arms and ran.

Mouse pad

Some are round
Some are square
Some have pictures
Some are bare
They hold the mouse
They help it move
The mouse pad is important too

Things That I Haven't Done Wrong

A good list, she tells me that I should write one
I'll write all the things that I haven't done wrong
I've never skipped homework and went out to play
Or left my best friend when she told me to stay

I haven't eaten the food my dad saved for himself
Or hidden old gum on the bathroom top shelf
You may think I have but I'll tell you it's true
I've never ran wild on my Uncle's seadoo

I haven't ditched classes or say that i quit
When I promised to stay and play with my mitt
I've never broke something and say that I didn't
Or hit the ball out but lie just to win it

You may here some rumors but I'll tell you right here
I don't stare at myself in the school bathroom mirror
I don't make a big mess and then not clean it up
Well, I guess I did when my grown dog was a pup

There are lots of things, as you can see here
That I haven't done wrong and I think it's quite clear
I'm a pretty good person; you can't deny that
I'm awesome, I'm me, it's quite a great fact

So I'll say my goodbyes, tah tah and farewell
I hope you thought that my poem was quite swell
But don't cry and miss me, don't go and pout
Make a poem of your own, be you and speak out

Little Miss Brown Eyes

The red flowers rustled in the wind and it blew my hair around my face. The wooden bench underneath me wasn't very comfortable but I didn't move a muscle. I stared out on the expanse of our backyard. It was covered in flowers and little blossoming trees. What use was a yard if you couldn't even play in it? I heard screaming from the front. My sisters must be playing in the sprinklers again. I heard my mom laughing, an inviting sound, but it only hardened my face more. School tomorrow; my chest tightened. I couldn't take much more of it. Day after day, people shoving things at me, telling me what to do I was going to snap! And my friends? What friends. I couldn't even be myself around them and they ditched me whenever they got the chance. Ever since Dad had left everything has been terrible. Mom's been working nonstop and we've barley got any money. The girls got over it fast. They act as if nothing's wrong; everything's still normal. Nothing is still normal! It's all his fault! Why did he have to leave? I wiped the tears from my cheeks. I need him. I leaned my head against the wood. I was being selfish. I'm sure everyone missed him, mom the most. But she had to stay strong for our family and I was just bringing them down; bringing myself down. I curled my knees to my chest and let go of my pitiful lies. Letting the truth lash out at me like a whip. I was putting all this on myself. I constantly sulked and no one wanted to be around me, I put myself in a bad mood and yelled at people for no reason, I pushed my friends away, I pushed my family away. I was making myself and everyone around me miserable. I buried my face between my knees and cried. I cried for all the pain I had and for all the pain I was causing. I cried for things I had done and things I should have. I cried for letting my mom fight through this time alone and I cried for how much I loved and missed my dad. The tears slowed, the anger and pain left. I sat up and felt refreshed. It was a new start. I could change, I would change, and I could turn everything around. I got up and walked into the house, going through the halls and across the living room to the front door. I walked out, seeing my sisters giant grins as they ran around, sopping wet. I saw my mom in a lawn chair, watching them with a small smile on her face. I went and sat next to her. We looked at each other and smiled. It was all looking up from here.

D

Doughnuts are yummy
Doughnuts are good
Don't eat a doughnut
Don't think you should
Down in your belly
Down where there's fat
Don't need a doughnut
Don't worry 'bout that

My Warmth Inside

The sky is black
The moon is out
The rain falls down
I sit and pout

I watch the dreary
Clouds fly
Past my window
Through the sky

I cuddle close
My blanket's warm
Through my window
There's a storm

The stars are gone
I want them here
I love the feeling
When they're near

The great expanse
Of outer space
In my heart
And on my face

I feel a smile
It's warm and sweet
It makes me feel
At home at least

It's better than
When I am here
Where no one cares
They're never near

I'm all alone
This is no good
I'd go out there
If I only could

But as I said
The stars are gone
Now my blanket's
Not so warm

With teary eyes
I stare outside
Why did you steal
My warmth inside?

Pain

The wheels turn, they grind with rust
They screech and scream and spout brown dust
They roll around in tortured pain
They cause the turmoil in my brain

Rubbernecking

Move along, no need to stare
Rubbernecking's not quite fair
We want to move, we need to go
It's just a car out by the road

Fear

Deer in the headlights, now on the wall
Me? I'm next, I need to stall
What can I do? It's coming fast
I take a breath, might be my last

Ants

March along, don't stop moving
Keep the rhythm, don't be brooding
Never stop, it's how we roll
Ants, we work our heart and soul

Eyes

Water swirls with silver spays
Chocolate brown and milky way
Leafy green, it's vibrant, cool
Other colors, mixed and new
These things are eyes, they vary wide
'Reflect the soul that is inside
They see around, they take it in
You look at them, they make you grin

Me complaining

Hi. I'm sleepy. Actually, if you want to hear me complain, I'm tired, sore, hungry and i want to go home! But I'm okay other than that :) ha ha. Well, yeah. I had track yesterday. It turns out that it started on Tuesday so I missed the first day and then I told my friends and all of them knew that it started!! How did I miss that? Oh well, I went yesterday and I knew I was going to die, I'm so out of shape. We ran six 200m sprints!!! OMG!! I'm soooo sore!! After the first one I was done but I still had five to go!!! :'( It was hard, but I get to skip it today because I'm going to Swing Club, thank goodness. It just started but I'm already happy for a break!! ha ha ha. I would probably collapse if I went today, I'll probably just relax at swing. Well, I'm done complaining :) You may now get on with your life.

Games

What a wonderful night I'd had. Dancing with him, so close. Laughing and talking like there was no tomorrow. My heart fluttered at the memory and I giggled to myself. He's just so perfect, how could I not see before. I was never really sure, he was iffy, I wasn't sure I could trust him but it all changed now. Now I could see who he really was. He smart and funny and just amazing. I'm going to see him tomorrow and we'll laugh at the memories of last night's party. I rolled over in bed, smiling to myself, and cuddled deeper into my covers. My chest swelled with warmth as I pictured his face. I closed my eyes, not wanting the night to end but eager for tomorrow, and drifted off to sleep. My alarm went off, I rubbed my eyes and glared at it. I was having such a nice dream. Then I remembered last night, that was like a dream. I sat on my bed for a moment, committing everything that had happened to memory. Then I stood up, time to get ready. I fussed over my hair and makeup, trying to make it perfect but, of course, failing. Then I got in my car, way too early, and headed to school. I sat in my car for a moment. My stomach filled with butterflies. What was I going to say? Just the thought of seeing him again made my body go all tingly. I stepped out of my car and the air was like ice. I walked to the school building, patting my hair down as the wind blew it out of place. The halls were starting to fill with people and I looked around for him. Still heading towards my locker, I saw him. My stomach flipped and my heard fluttered uncontrollably. I tried to say something but all my words got caught in my throat. I had to at least say hi. He looked up and spotted me and I smiled, he could talk first, that would make it easier. But he didn't smile back. He looked away and kept on walking. My heart sank. What was that? Did I just dream last night? I looked back at him but he didn't even glance at me. My supposedly perfect day was now ruined, my high spirits were at an all time low. This is it, I thought to myself, this is where the games start.

Just Another Day in Paradise - Phil Vassar

The kids screamin', phone ringing, dog barking at the mailman bringing that stack of bills overdue
Good morning baby how are you
Got a half hour, quick shower
take a drink of mile but the milk's gone sour my funny face makes you laugh
I twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby don't kick it, I promise I'll fix it
long with about million other things

Chorus:
Well it's okay, it's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
well, there's no place that I'd rather be
Well it's two hearts and one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything and I ask the Lord every night
oooo, for just another day in paradise.

Friday, your late, guess we'll never make our dinner-date at the restaurant, you start to cry
Baby we'll just improvise
well, Plan B
Looks like, Dominoes pizza in the candlelight
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But, somebody had a bad dream
Mommy and Daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between

Chorus(x2)

For just another day in paradise
Well, it's the kids screamin', phone ringing
Just another day
Well, it's Friday your late
Oh yeah, it's just another day in paradise

The sun, the moon, the stars, the water

The stars they twinkle in the sky
They light the blackness that's behind
They glow, a beacon to the weak
The moon's close by, it's at it's peak

The sun is bright, the sky is blue
It's vibrant yellow shines down on you
It warms the Earth, it warms your skin
It's equal to the warmth within

The water's rough yet very calm
It saves our lives, it gives us harm
It's colored by the sun each day
And reflects the moon out by the bay

The sun, the moon, the stars, the water
Sometimes it's cool, sometimes it's hotter
These are what make up the Earth
The things I love, the things of worth

Angel Tears

Icy tears fall to the ground
I wonder why the angels are crying
The sun was out yesterday
Why is today so different

The sky is gray
Painted like death
Could they be crying
For someone they love

But angels love everyone
And if they always cried
For someone they loved
The sky would never be blue

Today, just another day

Hola! I'm pretty happy right now!! I've got a YW basketball game to look forwards to tonight and i just ate a pickle and some salt and vinegar chips ( <--- some of my favorite food :) Me and my friends have been talking about ditching a lot lately. Not like, "Hey, lets ditch", more along the lines of, "I never ditch seminary, it's fun!" And today during SIR we were wondering if what we were doing counted as ditching. We go into the band room and sign in but us, plus lots of other people, go outside the doors, we sit by the heater, some people play their instruments, we sometimes go to the vending machines and stuff, etc etc... But today we actually went outside because we wanted to watch some guys make snow angels so that just made us wonder... we go so far away from our class, i wonder if that counts as ditching??? Well, either way, it's not going to stop us from doing it. We're just having fun, getting food and drinks and hanging out. It's our free time in the middle of school!!
Lunch was fun, as usual, Aub and I went to go watch the guys, and one girl, do parkour. I think that's how you spell it. We just sit there in the doorway and watch them while laying on a mat. Laura's the only girl (actually there is one more girl signed up but she never comes) and she really wants me to join to! I think it sounds like a ton of fun!! but I'm pretty sure i'm going to totally fail!! lol. I'm really not someone who's good at that kinda stuff but i'll try!! Me and laura can work together!! he he. she says it's really hard and embarrassing being the only girl so i'm going to join to help her and because i want to. I'm sure until we actually start getting good it's going to be really embarrassing!! there's a ton of guys, what do you expect?
We had a sub in orchestra. She was pretty cool i guess. She had some people play songs alone or do scales and we would tell them what they did good on then give them constructive criticism. Then we played Pavane, which is really slow so we told Joe to go get the keys to Ms. P's office so we could get out Pirates of the Caribbean. Maybe it's just an orchestra thing but that's, like, our favorite piece to play!! it's sooooo much fun!! Well, Joe came back and the office wouldn't give him the keys so him and Brittany went to get a janitor. He opened the door for us and we got the music and played Pirates for the last 10 minutes of class!! It was so fun! I just love that music :D I was really weird to play it though because more than half our class is gone on the Orchestra trip (you have to pay $555 to go to pay for all the expenses so not everyone can go)
Now i'm home, i just ate some nummy foods, i'm almost done with my homework, i get to practice my guitar and i get to go to basketball!! woohoo!! what a great day! :D

Diary!! Woo hoo

Hello peoples :) Today was a good day. I guess lots of days are good though huh? Well, it was better than my weekend. For some reason I was in a really bad mood all weekend and didn't want to do anything. I'm all better now!! lol. Well, today I was SUPER cold!! It was really weird. I'm usually cold but then I warm up but today it took forever. I wear this really fluffy sweater and I usually end up taking it off in all my classes because I get hot but I really need it because I get cold. But in biology I was freezing, and seminary I was too (though that's normal) and advisory was absolutely freezing cold. Creative writing was to only warm class! I usually have to take off my sweater in there too and even then I'm hot but today it was just perfect!! I guess my house is pretty warm to, w/e, it's fine :) I'm kinda sleepy, but it is Monday so what can you expect. I guess I should probably do my homework now. K, bye bye :)

Who is that man?

Birds ruffle their wings and sing in the trees. A light shines down though the leaves onto my skin, warming my frail, porcelain arms, though all I feel is a deep chill in my center. The sun seems to fade away as I slip farther into despair. Who is that man? Was he worth all those years? Or were they all wasted. Thrown away on a pitiful hope for happiness. In a moment everything can change. It's time to realize that life is not a fairy tale. Chances are, you are going to fail over and over and you'll end up wallowing in your own self-pity. What is life worth? Why are we here? All we do is come down, expecting happiness, and get ripped apart by reality. People are cruel. Life isn't fair. Love isn't real. Death is release.

Diary of Today

Today was pretty fun :) Even though I had to wake up at five in the morning for early morning orchestra! And I somehow managed to set my clock so that it said it was 4 when it was 5 so I woke up at 4 and went down to eat breakfast to find that all the clocks down there said it was 4. So I went back to my room, reset my clock, reset my alarm, and went to sleep for an hour. So I was tired today but I had fun with my friends. I was way excited for guitar but it got canceled :( My guitar teacher took her granddaughter to the hospital and she has strep and is staying with her so I didn't get to go :( So instead I got to hang out with my friend Aubree and we had tons of fun so that was good enough for me :)

Diary :)

My first diary for Creative Writing. I'm not sure what to say. I've got a journal here at home that I write in all the time but this will be different. In my journal I just say what I did that day, how I felt, what made me happy and said. I put stuff in there that I think about people, things I'd never say, and things I wish I would. Well, I'm not going to do that here so...what do I do? Well, today I was extremely hungry all day it seems. Yet when I eat I get full all too fast. Lunch seems to go by too quickly nowadays. Are they making it shorter? Even long lunch seems short. Well, California was really nice. It was warm the whole time we were there and I made sure to spend a lot of time outside. Except on Sunday, I was sick and was sitting on the couch most of the day, watching a movie with my fever and annoying headache. It was still really chilly at night but that's okay, the day made up for it. A bright sun, warmth soaking into my skin :) it was so nice. Then back here it's freezing cold! And snow :( Oh well, I've got friends here, something I don't have in CA, except my family and, yes, they are wonderful. But since I don't go to school in CA I don't really have any friends there. But that's all right. Tons of my family lives there. I usually just spend time with the people liveing in my house. My dad, Heather (My step-mom), my half-sisters Natalie (7) and Amanda (5) and my little half-brother, Steven (2). Then sometimes we have parties and I have Aunts and Uncles who come over and my grandma and our little cousins plus we have two cousins who are our age who serve as the closest things we really have to peers :) LOL. All together, it's really great there but it's awesome here too :) I've got lots of family and tons of friends, I could never stay away for long.

Stars

A star in the sky
Like a jewel in the darkness that I'm lucky enough to find
Some people thinks it's small
Useless
But to me it's the only thing that keeps the darkness from swallowing up the world

The Perfect Place

The soft sound of the waves, the golden sun on the sand
It makes no noise as the silk slips through my hand
The sun is setting, the sky is pink
Could this be better? I try to think
Is something missing in this wonderful place?
I picture brown eyes and a smiling face
If he were here this would be perfect
I sigh and wonder if he's worth it
The sun is gone, the moon is out
And I still can't help but think about
He's in my head, and stuck for good
I'd take him with me if I could
I look around, I'm all alone
How could this place feel safe and warm?
I used to like it but now I see
I don't because he's not with me

Fall

She sits on the cold grass. Alone. Peacful. The wind blows, rustling the leaves above her head, making one fall to the ground, fluttering through the air before it silently settles on the grass beside her knee. She stares at it. Yellow mixed with red with a hint of green left. It was fall. Was everything falling this time of year? Can't spring, the time of blooming and life, last forever? Why do things have to end. So suddenly. Gone, forever. A tear glided silently down her cheek. She had promised herself she wouldn't cry. No. She had promised him that she would be strong. For her mom, for her little sister. It was hard to be strong for others when you felt like the weakest of them all. The most affected. How could life go on like nothing had happened? She looked away from the fallen leaf to the pollished stone in the grass before her. How could she be strong when he had been the one holding her up? Another tear. She quickly wiped it away and stood up. For my brother. He gave so much to me, it's time for me to give back. She walked away, head held high, never to shed a tear for him again.

I love, but I don't

It’s May 19 2008

I’m at my house surrounded by friends

I love friends and family too

Why can’t everyone be a friend?

I love food

My favorite is a pickle

But I don’t like cucumbers; people think that’s weird

I don’t like lasagna either

I love the sun, the moon and the stars

I could stare up at them for hours and get lost in wonder

I love how the light glitters on the snow

But I don’t like the snow

I don’t like the cold

I would like snow if it wasn’t so cold

I love the warmth and the sun

I love the light

I love color and variety, especially in eyes

There can be so many different colored eyes

Deep brown, brilliant green, petrifying blue and a mix of them all

Some are even golden

As precious as the person who sees through them

I love country music and pop as well

I like rock and others are okay

I really don’t like rap, unless it has a good chorus

Then I can live with it

I love amusement parks

The feeling in your stomach as you plunge down and go around turns

Your hair flying behind you

It’s a great sensation, but I don’t like getting queasy afterward

I love cats, dogs, and wolves

I don’t like hairless cats

But I don’t like getting cat hair all over me when I pet one’s with hair

I like giving animals baths too

Unless they run away

I don’t like cold water

Unless it’s a hot summer day and it feels so good

And I don’t like it when the wind is blowing as you get out and it’s freezing cold

I don’t like when pools are dirty either

I love to run

I love soccer and baseball

But I don’t get to play them as much as I would like

I like to get dirty; I just don’t like cleaning up afterwards

I like my hair short

But it’s a pain when I exercise because it won’t stay up in a ponytail

It’s too short and always falls out in the back

So I have to find a comfortable middle that’s cute and can be put up

I love goofing off with my friends

Hanging out and having fun

Going crazy and running around

Doing things that don’t make any sense

Like at my birthday party, today

My friends surrounding me as we party our heart out

Celebrating about getting older, having fun

And just being

HI :)

I don't have much to put on this blog do I? I believe that I'm better at writing stories than poems so I can't just have something pop into my head and post it. People who are good a writing poems, YOU ROCK!! You can write a masterpiece in a few minutes. it's way cool :) hmmm... what to say. Well, I'm am officially learning how to play the guitar :D I'm so happy, I've always wanted to. I started lessons a few weeks ago. You may never hear me play because I stink, lol. But I'm sure I'll get better someday :) I have Guitar every Friday so I get to go tomorrow. Then, at 7 pm, I'm driving to the airport and getting on a plane to San Diego, California!! I love California. I was born there and my dad lives there so I get to go visit him every month so I get to go tomorrow since it's a long weekend. I really hope it's warm there, I'm tired of the cold. My list to do in CA:
1) soak up the sun
2) don't worry about school or homework
3) relax
4) set up our trampoline
5) remember to write in my journal

Then, just because I can, I will put on some shorts and a t-shirt and go outside and I will be the happiest girl in the world because I won't be cold :)

Days of Me

People say I’m pretty,
Sometimes I realize that I am
I am my own person, that’s what makes me beautiful
I am me
Me is powerful
The laugher, the smiler
Active one, loves to run
Runs around for no reason at all,
Makes people laugh without trying
Talks a lot, yet very shy
Loves to be around friends, goes crazy
Writer, people love to read
Warmth and food, happy
Homey places, smiling faces
That’s me at the window, staring at the moon
Dreamer, wanter, seeker
Believer, don’t tell me lies
Too many people lie, I start to not believe
Don’t fight, please stop
Be friends, have fun
Sun, stars, moon, sky
Freedom and peace
Cuddling with my cat on the couch,
Warm and happy
Bouncing on the trampoline with my friends
Excited and having fun
I don’t like to be confused, though am a lot
Wonder is a precious thing
I wonder a lot yet don’t get answers
Hanging out, lazy days
Family and friends all around me
Special dreams, happy ones
Makes me happy
Life, hard to appreciate
Amazing to live
Difficult to love, but worth all the pain
I am living, I am me

ME!

HI! This is my first blog! I'm doing this for my creative writing class but it seems like it's going to be lots of fun!! I really have no idea what i'm doing right now, i'll have to look around and see how things work and once i do i'm sure i'm going to have TONS of fun♥